What Not To Do / Christmas  / When not to eat too many cookies

When not to eat too many cookies

What I love to do most as one year turns to another, is to bring Christmas cheer and presents to everyone. As you may already know my name is Nicholas, but call me Nick and I’ve been around for a very very long time. 

Over the years the children have gotten very fond of me and my team of faithful reindeers who I travel with every Christmas Night. As a thank you, the children and their parents started leaving out little treats for me and my reindeer posse. It started off as something small but these days there are so many treats for us. Some people even leave me some whiskey (hiccup)!

With all the healthy treats for my reindeer, they got faster and to accept the thanks of millions of people across the world I kept gobbling down the treats they left out. What had started off as a small snack here and there, had grown to be a full blown eating problem all squeezed into a few short hours. As I have a magical suit and it grows with me and I never even noticed how much of my snacking had caused my waist to grow! That’s when I started thinking, “What not to do on Christmas Night”

Cookies or Carrots

Mind you all those treats are delicious, I mean just take a look at this list of things I ate and drank last year alone:

  • Cold beers in Australia
  • Lovely gulab jamuns in India
  • Sweet baklava in Turkey
  • Yummy French biscuits 
  • Mince pies with Sherry in England
  • Cookies in Ireland with the odd Guinness
  • Risengrod (rice pudding) and gløggs in Denmark
  • Coffee in Sweden 
  • Cookies and milk in America

I could not say no to all those lovely treats or break the little children’s hearts, I am Santa Claus after all!!

One Christmas Night

I remember it well, it was Christmas 1997 we had a problem with the sleigh and it wasn’t hitting it’s top speed. We tinkered with the engine and eventually got going on our journey. But when one thing goes wrong, it all goes wrong. Next thing a couple of the Teletubbies and Tamagotchi fell off the sleigh. We had to double back and pick them up. That night was a bit of a disaster. I had just left Finland and Sweden and had a grand stash of cookies under my belt and maybe one too many glöggs. When I landed in Denmark (looking forward to my bowl(s) of Risengrod), and started to make my way down the chimney to leave the presents, but those cookies caught up with me and I got firmly stuck about halfway down!!! 

No matter how much I wriggled, I wasn’t moving up or down that chimney that night. Eventually the reindeers noticed I had been gone for a long time and we were now running very late. Thankfully Rudolph, always the leader, realised what had happened and came to my rescue. He found some old rope in the sleigh and dropped it down to me. They tied the rope to the sleigh and managed to pull me up and out of the chimney. 

There was no way I could attempt the next chimney, so that year, Rudolph and the team stepped in and called on Jultomten, one of our scandinavian elves to rescue Christmas night. Jultomten delivered all the presents that night at record speed, making up for time lost earlier. I still wonder if I got the presents right that year, did I lose one too many rocking horses or Teletubbies and Tamagotchi off the sleigh, was I too stressed (or a little drunk) and got it all wrong?

What Did I Learn

My biggest worry to this day is that in my confusion I might have disappointed some of the children across the world. I’ll never know, but that night was not my best work. I didn’t see anything in the papers about disappointed children, so I may have gotten away with it.

Since that night, I’ve taken to eating more of the carrots and sharing the treats with my reindeer. Mrs. Claus even got together with the toy factory elves, repurposed the production line and built a whole host of gym equipment for me to stay fit and reduce my waistline. I’ve even been asking the children to not leave me out so many lovely goodies. Every year since, I have vowed to never let those children down again and tie down the toys on the sleigh properly. 

Top Tip

My top tip is if you have an important job to do…lay off the cookies and the gløgg!!

And finally

You can track my progress in 2020 and visit my Santa Tracker Please note that I have taken all Covid-related precautions and am I practising social distancing to protect everyone, because all of you (and my elves and reindeer) are important to me!

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